The 7 Most Sexually Suggestive Pokemon
Written by Retr0gamer   
Monday, 23 June 2008 14:47


Sex is probably the last thing people associate with Pokemon, but that doesn't mean pocket monsters can't exhibit sexuality.  As sexually suggestive as some Pokemon are, you might think Satoshi Tajiri is crazier than he actually is.  Anyway, without further ado, here they are!

#7 - LopunnyLopunny...sexy or just suggestive?

Lopunny poses like a Playboy bunny in a centerfold spread.  Or a prostitute working the sidewalk.  Either way, it's sexually suggestive.  It also grabs its chest area like it's trying to keep you from seeing the goods.  And is it just me or do Lopunny's elbows look like a pair of drooping...boobs?  There's so much subconscious sexual imagery going on with Lopunny - if I saw one standing like that at a bar, I might just have to take it home with me.  

 

#6 - TentacruelTentacruel is a hentai star

Somewhere out there is a monster-tentacle-rape hentai starring Tentacruel as the protagonist.  How anyone ever conceived the notion of animated pornography where monsters have their way with girls is incredibly disturbing to me.  Regardless, Tentacruel has the luxury of restraining victims and using its free tentacles to do all sorts of unspeakable things with.  The only reason Tentacruel is even on this list is purely for all you perverted otaku out there.  

 

#5 - JynxJynx the DSL queen

Jynx is no stranger to controversy.  The original Jynx (pictured) stirred up accusations of racism.  Because of this, people tend to overlook the voluptuous vixen Jynx happens to be.  It has ample breasts and knows how to accentuate them with its dress.  Jynx also has high-speed DSL and submissively long blond hair.  It's looking to holler.   

 

#4 - SudowoodoSudowoodo has lots of wood to give

Sudowoodo wins the award for "Best Sex Toy Pokemon."  This phallic fothermucker makes "twig & berries" redundant.  Adult toy stores need to stock up on Sudowoodos for all you kinky cosplayers and Pokephiliacs.  In the game, Sudowoodo can learn the move "Harden" through breeding.  It even has the word "wood" in its name.  And for the record, I named mine "Dyldo" when I caught it.

 

#3 - Victreebel / Weepinbell Victreebel knows protection

You know that kid in the movie Superbad who really liked drawing penises?  Well Victreebel's designer (Ken Sugimori) must have really liked drawing soggy condoms.  Its mouth is the ring of rolled up latex and the other side resembles the tip that catches...whatever it is that condoms catch.  Is this Nintendo's way of promoting the use of contraceptives and safe sex?  Probably not, but we'd like to think so.

 

#2 - SmeargleSmeargle knows how to handle himself

Smeargle has a lot of fun playing...er, painting, with itself.  Look at the way it grabs its tail.  It chokes up like a chronic masturbator.  With suggestive paint oozing down  the tip of its third leg, it can splurge all over things like a teenage boy who's out of tube socks.  And what's with the eager tongue?  If Smeargle can get oral on itself, then it would probably never leave the Poke Ball.  

 

#1 - LickitungLickitung ain't afraid to get down

Lickitung, to me, is the most sexually suggestive Pokemon.  Its tongue would make even Gene Simmons jealous.  The tongue is one of the most of the most versatile and important muscles when it comes to sexuality, and Lickitung's long, dexterous oral tool could keep many lovers happy.  Lickitung is down...to get down!


Well, there you have it - the most sexually suggestive Pokemon.  Tune in next week to find out which ones would make the most amorous lovers (Lickitung's already a tongue-up)!



*images of Lickitung and Smeargle are by the wonderfully talented Suta-Raito

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Comments (80)add
69
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written by chefie , June 24, 2008
what about celebi? the head looks like a boob
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written by LOL , June 24, 2008
HAHAHAHAHA!
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written by Lan Party Socialite , June 24, 2008
dude where is CASTFORM?


those round jublies look like boobs or balls or something. You are the worst video game blogger ever!
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written by LJWooly , June 24, 2008
But... I liek mudkipz moar.
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written by crush3r , June 24, 2008
what a crappy list. the only one that should be here is victreebel
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written by >_> , June 24, 2008
needs moar mudkipz
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written by idk , June 24, 2008
lickitung
lickadick
lickitquick
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written by SPARTA!!! , June 24, 2008
what about palkia, its shoulders and long head looks like, well you know..
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written by anonymous , June 24, 2008
Obviously, you have never actually seen pokemon porn. The most suggestive pokemon are, in no particular order

lopunny
gardevoir (and its younger forms)
mismagous (i know i spelled that one wrong. the ghost with the hat)


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written by Ben , June 24, 2008
TENTACOOL? What fucking git is that? smilies/shocked.gif

Where castform? Your the most fucky person ever.
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written by Anonymous , June 24, 2008
Gawd. Thanks for reminding me about Castform's... testy appearance. I guess we are just being really anal about this. Maybe we just have balls.



Penis.
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written by pokemonguy , June 24, 2008
You noob! That a weepenbell (spelling) you fail.
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written by ekaeka , June 24, 2008
bleckkkdkfslkvnsjdbvjkdfk
saknlksdjvljksvnb

sdvjkjsndlvslvagine
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written by first grader who likes ice cre , June 24, 2008
thats not a lickitung niggaa! yes ima first grader who likes ice cream.
64
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written by Retr0gamer , June 24, 2008
hahaha Castform!! How could I miss that? Yeah I'm a failure of a blogger. sorry guys, never read my shit again.
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written by Carnage , June 25, 2008
at least you admit it unlike other bloggers lol! jk I was interested enough to read it so that means Im sick and horribble and cant speel lol!
67
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written by BevoBoy , June 25, 2008
ah yes what about pikachu... hotdog in a hallway

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written by Ittaku 101 , June 25, 2008
What about Bulbasaurs vine whip attack? They look just like hentai rape tentacales for gawd sack.
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written by s.s. , June 26, 2008
Lucario-lacking much? It's what's on fangirl's minds. ._.
82
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written by Trick , June 26, 2008
where did bevoboy find that picture of pikachi, haha, it is as if those awful people are attempting to return to the womb of our beloved yellow friend!
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written by Ittaku 101 , June 26, 2008
OMG! They're raping pikachu's cunt!
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written by AvJohn , June 27, 2008
@anonymous

uhHHH pokemon porn? seriously who watch pokemon porn? You must be a beastiality loving pedophile
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written by Anonymous , June 27, 2008
have you seen some of the hentai manga with misty and team rocket, it is fap material!
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written by Ittaku 101 , June 27, 2008
Hentai rape is one of the many types of porn that I am strictly against, along with all other types of porn.

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written by PERSON , June 27, 2008
YOU FORGOT GARDEVIOR!!!! =O =O =O
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written by Someone , June 28, 2008
Where's Kirlia?
Have you ever seen Kirlia's back sprite in battle (in R/S/E/FR/LG)?
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written by (s.i.e) , June 28, 2008
sharing some of your personal sexual fantasies here Retr0gamer?
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written by Lolhammy , June 28, 2008
*Mentally Scarred*
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written by James , June 28, 2008
@someone,
wow what a whore

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written by =D , June 29, 2008
wait, woah. no palkia? he looks like a penis D:
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written by b , June 29, 2008
this list sucks arse really
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written by Ittaku 101 , July 01, 2008
Who the Hell wanted to make this perverted forum? wtf is wrong with these people, I mean, really? It is freaking hilarious, don't get me wrong, it's just that so many people found waaaayyyyy more sexual pokemon than I did.
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written by guy , July 03, 2008
what about gloom

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written by fydhgdfhgf , July 04, 2008
im t cool smilies/cool.gif for u nerd u all have no lives all u guys do is worry about ur pokemon this web site is so gay
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written by The coolist guy of the world , July 08, 2008
WAT THE FUCK WAAR ZIJN JULLIE MEE BEZIG STELLETJE MONGOOLEN
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written by Nelson , July 18, 2008
Tentacruel = hentai tentacle + Misty love it = Raped *possible gore*
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written by GAR~! , July 20, 2008
You missed Palkia, the penis pokemon.



...seriously....
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written by Ananomous , July 22, 2008
Son of a bitch Palkia god don't like that
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written by Icalasari , July 22, 2008
Ananomous: First off, it is spelt Anonymous

Secondly, in the Pokemon world, Palkia IS a god. As such, if it likes that, then at least on god likes that
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written by PhxGunner , August 05, 2008
WTF is going on in that picture above?
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written by STARYU FAN BOY , August 05, 2008
STARY IS THE SEXIEST EVER !!! IT DIDNT EVEN MAKE THE LIST WTF . I WANT TO SHINE ITS GEM WITH MY TOUNGUE
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written by HONCHYBABY , August 05, 2008
WHERE THE HELL IS HONCHKROW? FOR ONE THING, WE ALL KNOW HE'S PIMPING OUT LOPUNNY, AND LOPUNNY SHOULD BE No. 1 SHARING JOINT PLACE WITH GARDEVOIR/KIRLA
DAMN YOU ASSHOLE
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written by Paul , August 05, 2008
Where's the Caterpie Oddish rape???? They are totally more sexual that all of them pokemon!
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written by HONCHYBABY , August 05, 2008
actually Staryu should be first i agree
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written by STARYU FAN BOY , August 05, 2008
I AINT GOT NO EYEESSS
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written by DISGRUNTLED FISHERMAN , August 05, 2008
Hay uhh... I think your list is actually pretty damn go-... oh.. GOD. NO! Is that what I think it is? OH MY FUCKING GOD YES. MY FUCKING ROD IS FUCKING TANGLED. FUCK! I'M GETTING SO FRUSTRATED AND MEAN RIGHT NOW
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written by Arceus , August 05, 2008
Yo, what about me? I, like, created the world an' all...I should get a mention retard! *Judgement*
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written by Giratina , August 06, 2008
OI! ARCEUS! GET UR ASS OUTTA WHERE IT DON'T BELONG YOU OVERPOWERED WHORE. I CAN DANCE WAY BETTER THAN YOU SLIM SUCKA
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written by Purugly , August 06, 2008
Hay uhh, I was designed to be fapped over. Notice my name, Pur? Yeah that's some real serious shit there. Now get outta here before I blow some caps in your ass. Come on now, I'm in hufflepuff and I can so take down Numbers's level 99 garchomp with eeeasseee baby.
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written by PAUL , August 06, 2008
REEVE IS A SEX GOD !!! CAT SAID CAIT SITH IS HIS WEAPON SO IM PUTTING IT HERE ; ) UM HE IS A TALL GUY WITH GINGER SQUASH COLURED HAIR AND HE HAS ARMS .

HIST - WAS NORMAL , NOW CAT ROBOT

LOOKS - AVER MALE , GINGER SQUASH HAIR

PERSONALITY - ROBOT CAT


RP SAMPLE -- REVE JUMPED INTO PALMERS ARMS EROTICALLY , THEY HAD SEX ON CAIT SITH AND PLAYED CLUEDO AFTER . THE END


PAUL HARRIS

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written by Drugs Personified , August 06, 2008
he shook ma hon an i thot he wus gonna pull me off the bus but he jus shook ma hon and somone got arrested for takin drugs a mean why its no bad its jus drugs
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written by PAUL , August 06, 2008
OOPS I FURGOT MY EXTRA LITTLE PS

PS: I WOULD SHAG ODDISH BTW
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written by Meowth , August 06, 2008
Hey you idiot! You forgot James! He's the sexiest fucking Pokemon ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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written by James , August 06, 2008
ooo thanks Meowth, I'd say the same for you but I met a certain somebody called Giovanni
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written by Ludicolo , August 06, 2008
I JUST FOUND THE SEXIEST POKEMON EVER
HERE'S THE VID OF IT
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=G93im2-iCYs
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written by James , August 06, 2008
I AGREE WITH YOU LUDICOLO! HIGH FIVE
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written by PURUGLY , August 06, 2008
I DUNNO HUU IZ THE SEXIEST POKEMANGZ OR WHATEVER BUT INO THAT A FUCKIN GARCHOMP AINT WINNING NAE BEAUTIE PAGENTS !! LMAO PEACE XOOX
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written by Drugs Personified , August 06, 2008
pur cmere an do drugs with mi lopunny got us some tangela weed an paras shrooms
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written by silent pokewhore , September 03, 2008
now there should be a contest on who the most suggestive humans are on there.....
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written by oll , September 05, 2008
smilies/sad.gif smilies/shocked.gif smilies/cool.gif smilies/tongue.gif :- smilies/kiss.gif smilies/cry.gif smilies/smiley.gif smilies/wink.gif smilies/wink.gif smilies/wink.gif smilies/wink.gif
0
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written by palkia , September 24, 2008
dude that's not funny
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written by lucario and riulo , September 24, 2008
nice picture
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written by dialga , September 24, 2008
i agree with that
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written by palkia , September 24, 2008
man that's not cool

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written by weih , September 24, 2008

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written by CD , October 26, 2008
in before AGNPH postings
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written by Luvmuchine , October 26, 2008


You were right on with the lickitung
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written by Luvmuchine , October 26, 2008
But I'll never know why you didn't add Blaziken.




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written by Luvmuchine , October 26, 2008
And Lucario is really popular lately. And for good reason too. Look at that ass!


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written by CD , October 26, 2008
In after.
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written by Luvmuchine , October 26, 2008
And milktank is such a slut too.


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written by Luvmuchine , October 26, 2008
woops forgot my image.



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written by Luvmuchine , October 26, 2008
And I am no longer able to post them. Well that was fun.
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written by CD , October 26, 2008
Combo finisher?
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written by Luvmuchine , October 26, 2008
Fine I'll try again then.


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written by Luvmuchine , October 26, 2008
Nope didn't work. You do it.
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written by Hey Luv :'3 , October 26, 2008
Did someone say pokemon?

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written by Havok teh Anonymous , October 26, 2008


Test. And now I'm just filling up space so it thinks I'm writing a serious comment. MY COMMENT IS NOT TOO SHORT! WHAT THE FUCK. FUCK YOU YELLOW BAR TELLING ME MY COMMENT IS TOO SHORT.


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written by Havok teh Anonymous , October 26, 2008
Nope, tried and failed.

LET'S TRY AGAIN!


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written by Luvmuchine , October 26, 2008
WAT DE FUK IS RONG WIT PICTARS?! WANT TO POST PICTARS! RRAAAAAAAAAAGH! HUUUUUURRR!
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Last Updated ( Wednesday, 25 June 2008 08:45 )
 
 

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