Sex is probably the last thing people associate with Pokemon, but that doesn't mean pocket monsters can't exhibit sexuality.  As sexually suggestive as some Pokemon are, you might think Satoshi Tajiri is crazier than he actually is.  Anyway, without further ado, here they are!

#7 - Lopunny

Lopunny poses like a Playboy bunny in a centerfold spread.  Or a prostitute working the sidewalk.  Either way, it's sexually suggestive.  It also grabs its chest area like it's trying to keep you from seeing the goods.  And is it just me or do Lopunny's elbows look like a pair of drooping...boobs?  There's so much subconscious sexual imagery going on with Lopunny - if I saw one standing like that at a bar, I might just have to take it home with me.  

#6 - Tentacruel

Somewhere out there is a monster-tentacle-rape hentai starring Tentacruel as the protagonist.  How anyone ever conceived the notion of animated pornography where monsters have their way with girls is incredibly disturbing to me.  Regardless, Tentacruel has the luxury of restraining victims and using its free tentacles to do all sorts of unspeakable things with.  The only reason Tentacruel is even on this list is purely for all you perverted otaku out there.  

#5 - Jynx

Jynx is no stranger to controversy.  The original Jynx (pictured) stirred up accusations of racism.  Because of this, people tend to overlook the voluptuous vixen Jynx happens to be.  It has ample breasts and knows how to accentuate them with its dress.  Jynx also has high-speed DSL and submissively long blond hair.  It's looking to holler.   

#4 - Sudowoodo

Sudowoodo wins the award for "Best Sex Toy Pokemon."  This phallic fothermucker makes "twig & berries" redundant.  Adult toy stores need to stock up on Sudowoodos for all you kinky cosplayers and Pokephiliacs.  In the game, Sudowoodo can learn the move "Harden" through breeding.  It even has the word "wood" in its name.  And for the record, I named mine "Dyldo" when I caught it.

#3 - Victreebel / Weepinbell

You know that kid in the movie Superbad who really liked drawing penises?  Well Victreebel's designer (Ken Sugimori) must have really liked drawing soggy condoms.  Its mouth is the ring of rolled up latex and the other side resembles the tip that catches...whatever it is that condoms catch.  Is this Nintendo's way of promoting the use of contraceptives and safe sex?  Probably not, but we'd like to think so.

#2 - Smeargle

Smeargle has a lot of fun playing...er, painting, with itself.  Look at the way it grabs its tail.  It chokes up like a chronic masturbator.  With suggestive paint oozing down  the tip of its third leg, it can splurge all over things like a teenage boy who's out of tube socks.  And what's with the eager tongue?  If Smeargle can get oral on itself, then it would probably never leave the Poke Ball.  

#1 - Lickitung

Lickitung, to me, is the most sexually suggestive Pokemon.  Its tongue would make even Gene Simmons jealous.  The tongue is one of the most of the most versatile and important muscles when it comes to sexuality, and Lickitung's long, dexterous oral tool could keep many lovers happy.  Lickitung is down...to get down!


Well, there you have it - the most sexually suggestive Pokemon.  Tune in next week to find out which ones would make the most amorous lovers (Lickitung's already a tongue-up)!

Any time you give human beings a vehicle of expression, they are liable to try to impress you...OR degenerate the medium to portraying the most primal acts and functions.  Over the past few days, humanity has been using the Spore Creature Creator to flood Youtube with tons of penis monsters, booby monsters, and vagina monsters.  There's videos of monsters (though technically the same monster) bumping uglies.  Spore porn (Sporn?) is all over the internet.  These people are the kids that made inappropriate phallic Play-Doh shapes in pre-school.  Good job, guys.  You've really made Will Wright look like a genius.  Here are some notable ones...

Spore Boobies

Spore Penis Monster

Spore Porn...with Donkey Punches (not a Smash Bros. reference)!

Modestly endowed

There are thousands of videos and counting.  And if there's one thing I've noticed about  all the exaggerated sex-organ creatures, well, let's just say you can name a lot of them Richard.  

 EA is putting an end to all the chaos, banning people for creating inappropriate creatures, so enjoy the bacchanalia while you can.  Leave it to EA to take away what people want!

A symposium will be held this weekend on "The Sexualization of Children."  Amongst the the culprits responsible for sexualizing little Jack and Jill are video games and online pornography.

According to psychology professor Sharna Olfman of Point Park University, video games present a danger to girls.  It's not the girls' fault, however, it's the boys.  Video games, porn and other media "teach boys about sex" and result in the sexualization of girls.

Olfman elaborates, "'Sexualization' means someone doesn't understand that sexuality is part of a loving relationship."  (I personally disagree that you need to be in a loving relationship in order to sexualize someone...but that's probably why I'm not giving a symposium on children)

That video games/internet "sexualize" children should be nothing new to anyone.  Five hundred years ago, books were criticized for poisoning the minds of medieval aged kids - where did they get their ideas of sex back then?  But I digress.  Games are an outlet for sexuality...so get over it. 

Sex moves the world.  It's the reason we are all here in the first place, and we have it to thank for ensuring humanity survives.  We surround ourselves with sexual images and innuendo in our books, music, movies, websites, tea leaves, ice cubes, peanut butter and video games not only because it makes us happy, but because we as human beings can't help it.

While games video games and other media MUST have a degree of responsibility (see:  Samus's Boob Job), parenting has the most influence on children, and by extension, childrens' sexualization.

There are human beings who need to be addressed before video games can be blamed for something your children will grow in to naturally.  Hopefully this symposium will address the true root of these issues and won't be another blame-the-media fiasco.

In response to the overwhelming replies to Puff's "How Bethesda Butchered Fallout 3" 

(*Quotes were not edited for typos.)

I tried to take into account everyone's comments. (Yes, all of them, from the ones that had absolutely no reason or logic ('Same Gameplay at heart') to even the one's from those living in a magical idealogical dream world: 'And I'm glade(?) they're improving things for the times, and doing things we could only dream about at the time of the other titles.' -um, sir, Elder Scroll's is the fourth of the series of first-person RPGs and hardly the first of the genre, many have dabbled, Ultima Underworld is one my favorite classic games, what they are doing with Fallout 3 has been done to death, so please...)

In efforts to clarify and in hopes to end this debate; Puff simply was trying to say that Fallout 3 is downright misleading. How so? Spin Offs have occured: see Fallout Tactics, (see Fallout Brotherhood of Steel, *barf). If any of those games were called Fallout 3, god help me, we would not have to have this debate. This game is no different. Besides mythology there is no similiarity. My envisioning of Fallout 3 is that it should have the same isometric view, but take advantage of all that fancy smancy technology of now - I am talking about blood stains that stay forever, the car that we've always wanted -physics like GTA IV with car dents that remain forever,  a horizon that never dissapears, a weather system, your player ages, the spirit of Fallout was in DETAIL, and with today's technology we should be thinking PHYSICS not just Halo-style formulas; the Fallout 1 and Fallout 2 isometric view and turn-based system is lost. 'Turn-based combat is possible using Vault-tec Assisted Targeting System (V.A.T.S.), although once your action points are used up, you will revert to real-time combat until they charge up again.' - (http://www.joystiq.com/2007/06/15/fallout-3-gameplay-details-revealed/) Revert to real time combat? Then what is the point of action points then? Hmmm...

In the end, Bethesda's Fallout 3 should be called Fallout: The Last Vault or Fallout: The Brotherhood of Steel War. Don't fault me if you do not like my made up names, you are missing the point and that is why I don't work for that particular department. Take the mythology from Fallout, but do not mislead me and my love for Fallout 1 and 2's isometric rpg turn based strategy. 

*Oh and to the person who said Fallout 2 was not a 'true sequel',' WOW, ok, Fallout 2 was bigger and better, the graphics were improved (through attention to detail), the physics were improved, and everything that was fantastic about the first Fallout 1 was not only left intact, many if not most the kinks were worked out. The gameplay stayed true and it included both those new and old to the series. That to ME is a true sequel.

*Also another comment said 'While I can't pass judgment on Bethesda's take on the franchise, it seems like they are evolving and complementing the previous games, something that is much needed for a game like fallout to receive the sequel it so deserves.' I actually agree with this. We cannot pass judgment on a game that has not come out yet. But that isn't the argument here. Fallout deserves a sequel, it does not deserve retooling (evolving). Do not fix what is and was not broken.

 *:-P Also, this comment by this person...he/she must be working for Bethesda: 'Bethesda have taken the game where they feel it can best represent the Fallout story/mythology, and be engaging and entertaining, and make miiillions!'  Oh yeah, we know that, and the millions is whats driving this game to be created, not the hunger to recreate the true spirit of Fallout 1 and 2. This is not like Super Mario jumping to Mario 64, I believe that that was a necessary change because there is really nothing left to do in the Mario side-scrolling series (EXAMPLE: New Super Mario Bros DS) In my opinion, this is more like Final Fantasy X jumping to Final Fantasy x-2... an uncessary evolution  to an already convoluted genre; on top of which, falsely using the role of the sequel.

Fallout 3 should not be considered part of the series (don't give me the 'crying fanboy' comment). Of course it has the same name and features the classic PIPboy, but the title is completely superficial since the gameplay took a major turn off course.

The key reason it should be renamed is when you drastically change the rules and gameplay, you have ultimately changed the game. If Tetris was changed into a FPS, is it still Tetris or would you call it something else? GAMEPLAY IS INTEGRAL TO A GAME.  So when Bethesda changes the Fallout gameplay while keeping the name, of course I'm going to say “Bethesda butchered the series.” It doesn't resemble the rest of the series at all. Any pissed Fallout fan has the right to say so.

I'm sure it'll still be an amazing game, I won't argue a good game, but the game is truly not part of the Fallout series but the mutated love-child of Oblivion's gameplay and Fallout's storyline. So who can complain about such an awesome combination? No one...unless it teases us with the title “Fallout 3.”

Carrying the title “Fallout 3” makes it an offensive grotesque of the original series. The choice of changing the game to a jumbled up FP/TP-RPG/Shooter without changing the name was a marketing move with no concern for the originality of the series. When Interplay was forced to sell the game because of declaring bankruptcy (thanks for the correction), Bethesda bought the chance to capitalize on the name with no regards for the actual game.

Foremost is the issue of Bethesda's choice to remove of the isometric view which is pivotal to the originality of the narrative and gameplay.  The isometric narrative has the player guiding the PC through the uncharted wastelands.  This allowed the player to take a more objective view which was the root its dark comedic undertones (so prevelent they're probably overtones).  Bethesda's decision to toss aside the isometric view reduced the title to an almost unrecognizable shred of its former self, sharing more in common with BioShock and Half-Life. Bethesda also said they were going to take out the self-referential jokes to make the world seem more “real.” Here's a tip – we know its not real. I didn't expect them to do as good of a job with the jokes anyhow, but don't justify altering key parts of the game for misguided reasons.

In a weak attempt to connect the game to the series Bethesda kept features like the PIPboy, reoccurring NPCs and the SPECIAL stat-system , but it doesn't make the world right again. They're just remnants of the former games, mere foot notes referencing to the creativity of Black Isle's Fallout series. Does every RPG have to sellout to some hybrid form including FPS?

My main suggestion: Change the title of the game!

At least when Microsoft developed Halo Wars, a Halo RTS, they didn't call it Halo 4.   It' because they realized it's a different game that still uses the Halo world - Same goes for Fallout 3.   Instead of FO3 they should call it “Fallout V.A.T.S.” (the added 'Vault-Tec Assisted Targeting System) or Brotherhood of Steel 2.  Don't ruin a great series by mixing genres and titles.

I am extremely let down by this mutated release of Fallout 3. I was really anticipating the next Fallout after the lack of sand-boxing in Fallout Tactics. It's hard to see your favorite game turned into such a blatant sellout. I hope somehow game companies learn from this mistake, because on the unlikely chance Diablo 3 is released as a FPS/TPS...I'll have a stroke

PS- Obviously I'm still buying the game, but mostly because I love Oblivion (and that's a sad reality for a Fallout fans).