So I'm going about my business in Liberty City... busting kneecaps with a baseball bat and throwing hotdogs at citizens, when I get a phonecall from my man Little Jacob. Besides the fact that I have no idea what the hell this rasta is saying half the time, I do know that he is hiding a stash of guns so I try my best to be on his good side. He says, "hey brutha, canna catch a drink with I and I..." I realize he is asking me out for drinks and I happily oblige (with the ulterior motive of eventually getting access to his MP5 collection). We hit up the local Comrade bar for some vodka... next thing I know, I feel like im gonna throw up, LITERALLY IN REAL LIFE! The freaking screen is shaking and blurring so much that I am having trouble keeping down the noodles I had for breakfast this morning. Nico (the protagonist of the game) stumbles about and falls face first into a fire hydrant (it seems that Serbians cannot hold their liquor as well as their Russian counterparts)... I lose a chunk of my health bar. FUCK! He stumbles around some more; the game tells me to take Little Jacob home. Well geeze thats like 10 blocks away. I hail a cab over and then proceed to carjack the poor fellow while jumping into the drivers seat. Little Jacob tells me that I shouldnt drive; I disagree and tell him to get in or walk home. Now I personally do not condone drunk driving. It is extremely stupid and dangerous, but I would also be lying if I told you I have never done so. Well driving drunk in GTA4 feels like driving drunk in real life, but 10 times worse. If anything, this game is a great anti drunk driving ad since you feel so nauseaus when doing so. Don't believe me? Check it out, just don't say I didn't warn you.
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